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There’s so many things that’s going on in my life that I might as well make a list of what pisses me off, things that just tires and frustrates me, etc.

1) I wish I can find a job next year as an SDE. I want to go back to developing for several reasons:
    a) I’m tired of SDE’s acting like they’re so much better than Support. I just want to tell them to f*ck off.
    b) I’m tired of dealing with some people in my team who are constantly trying to one up you. Can’t we just all do our job without putting the other person in a bad f*cking light?
     c) I’m tired of being measured on “quantity” and not on “quality”. This sucks. I don’t even have to elaborate on why.
    d) I miss coding. Plain and simple. I miss the challenge of it. I miss “owning” a project and never having to worry that some douche will “steal” it from me.

2) I wish I can completely cut any kind of communication with the leeches

3) I’m tired of the anaps and their loud f*cking voices and of hearing their broken english and their broken “logics”

4) I’m tired of being forced to be more “sociable” at work. I ask when needed, I answer when asked. I get the job done. Even excels in it (if some people will put aside racism and pride, then they’d be able to acknowledge it).

7:31 AM

I’ve been coming in at around 6:00 or 6:10 AM at work because the other guy who works the same shift is on vacation. For three weeks. And now I can barely keep my eyes open and it’s not even 8:00 am. Here’s hoping I’ll make it through the next 3 weeks or so. I don’t know why I try so hard to come in on time. It’s not like the other guy comes in at 6:10. He comes in around 6:30 or so (we’re supposed to report at 6:00 am). Plus, I’m having a hard time motivating myself to “behave” since the anap just screwed me over again and my Mgr is still hooked on this anap’s kool-aid.

7:46 AM

Decided that I can’t wait for my body clock to adjust so if I’m to make it through this week, I’d need some help. I don’t drink coffee so I’m clueless with regards to which coffee is good. It doesn’t help that there are about ten different kinds of coffee in our lunch room. I decided to get Starbuck’s House Blend Medium and added a pack of Nestle Dark Cocoa, sugar, settled on Coffemate (they have this little individual plastic cups with different brands which just added to my confusion), and some hot water to tone down the bitterness. It didn’t taste so bad. Or maybe I’m just desperate to stay awake that I blocked out the bitterness.

8:48 AM

On my second cupt of the pseudo-coffee. I’m about 85% awake now so I guess it’s working.

2:02 PM

3 cups of pseudo-coffee, and junk food and lemonade for lunch after —-  I don’t know if it’s a mild heart burn, or sour stomach or acid indigestion (did the pseudo-coffee did this?) but my stomach hurts. I took some Tums to calm my effin stomach down and it’s slightly working. Now back to work. I don’t think I’ll be able to go home at 3:00 pm today *sigh*

9:11 PM

Left the office after 5:00 pm. That’s almost 12 hours worth of work and still this effin incident hasn’t been resolved. So close yet so far. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’d be able to finally iron out the (hopefully last) error. I really ought to disconnect from the office network and get some rest tonight since I have to be at the office at 6:00 am. I can’t seem to get a decent sleep until this three week old issue is resolved. 30 minutes more of work and I promise I’ll call it a day and resume my Dexter marathon.

The day started just like any other lazy day. I was chatting (YM call) with my sis in London and after a few hours, I went and got my phone to call Jackie to tell her that I can’t make it to yoga tonight because of my period. I saw that I got a miscall. Two phone calls and one house visit later, I’ve decided. I wasn’t 100% sure when I left but after I computed some stuff, I decided that it’s worth the sacrifice. So… it’s been done. I had no intentions of going through with it until maybe June or July next year but as I always say, nothing in my life goes according to plan. Wow. I can’t believe I’m doing this. But then again, a lot of people do it so it shouldn’t be so bad. Here’s to hoping that I’m making the right decision :/